


Hurricane Heart

by MusicalRaven



Category: Game Grumps, Good Game (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Aromantic Character, Awkwardness, M/M, Misunderstandings, No Spoilers, Oblivious Alex, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-05
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-24 03:54:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12004458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MusicalRaven/pseuds/MusicalRaven
Summary: Ryland falls too hard for his best friend, and Alex doesn't even think to catch him....as one night blended into the morning, and one day into three, Ryland found he enjoyed Alex's company quite a bit. Caught in the storm, Ryland and Alex took up knitting, movie production, and table tennis. They ran a marathon and ate five hot dogs before fighting over who threw up in the toilet first. The hurricane only raged on for Ryland, stronger as time went on. He wanted to be next to Alex at all times. Watch him grin as he completed his first competitive scrapbooking tournament. Feel him giggle as they practiced wrestling and Ryland accidentally found out he was ticklish. He wanted all these things and so, so much more.





	1. Left In The Ruins

Alex was a hurricane; overwhelming and powerful, he dove head first into everything he did, often leaving things more chaotic than before he arrived. And when the storm ended, the survivors were left to try and pick up the pieces, never quite sure of everything that just happened.

Ryland had been affected by that whirlwind for the first time many years ago when Alex's' drunk gaze had focused on him for the first time. He hadn't wanted to humour the guy. Stumbling over his own feet and giggling at everything his eyes landed on, Alex had been a bit too enthusiastic with getting Ryland to talk to him. The only reason he eventually caved was when Alex draped himself over his chest, grinning wide and toothy. He'd reached up and tapped his nose, giggling again. Ryland had started, the sudden adorableness of this grown man grabbing him in a choke hold. He didn't want to let him go.

Of course, Alex had chosen to commemorate this moment by losing his lunch on Ryland's chest. Alex had instantly apologized, trying to clean him up with several napkins but only succeeding in pushing the shit around and getting some on himself. Ryland had managed to corral him into the men's room, discarding his outer shirt in the trash before scrubbing both their hands clean.

During, Alex had been obnoxiously clingy. He'd seemed determined to keep at least one body part on Ryland at all times. _Most_ of the time, in appropriate places. He tried his best not to react the other times.

Trying to get Alex to leave the bathroom, however, had been a struggle all its own. In the few seconds between Ryland offering to take him home and him turning his back to open the door, Alex had ended up in a heap on the floor and for all intensive purposes, unmovable. It took Ryland another fifteen minutes to get a _reason_ out of him. But then he'd revealed he was sleeping in his car and just 'couldn't he sleep here? It was so much nicer.' And Ryland, unable to stop himself, offered to let him crash at his place. Just until he was sober again, of course.

And yet, as one night blended into the morning, and one day into three, Ryland found he enjoyed Alex's company quite a bit. Caught in the storm, Ryland and Alex took up knitting, movie production, and table tennis. They ran a marathon and ate five hot dogs before fighting over who threw up in the toilet first. The hurricane only raged on for Ryland, stronger as time went on. He wanted to be next to Alex at all times. Watch him grin as he completed his first competitive scrapbooking tournament. Feel him giggle as they practiced wrestling and Ryland accidentally found out he was ticklish. He wanted all these things and so, so much more.

He knew all he had to do was ask, so he'd planned out his words. Meticulously, he jotted them down. Draft after draft of what he wanted to say committed to his brain.

When Alex had come home that day, he'd been ready. The words, however, died on his tongue when he saw Alex's face. One thing he'd learned over the years was, while others got caught up in the hurricane that was his best friend, no one was torn apart by it quicker than Alex himself. And as he shuffled in the door, head down and arms weak, Ryland immediately went to his side, words be damned. 

He held out his arms hesitantly, but Alex practically melted into them. Wrapping his arms around him, Ryland asked what happened this time. He fully expected it to be yet another fail venture into whatever new thing he had set his sights on. Not something that would shatter his plans, and his world, as he knew it.

"I'm done," Alex had mumbled, words muffled by Ryland's shirt. Ryland had chuckled, patting Alex's back.

"What was that, bud?" He asked. "You've got too much shirt in your mouth."

"I said, I'm done," Alex said, pulling back slightly to meet Ryland's eye. "It's not worth the heartbreak. It never is."

"I'm... What?" Ryland tried, his mind failing him a moment.

"With dating. _Love._ " Alex spoke the word as if it were dripping with slime. Gross and untouchable. Ryland froze, staring uncomprehendingly at Alex, who just shrugged. "Who needs that, anyway. I have you." He smiled, nudging Ryland's chest with his hand.

"You... have me?" Ryland tried again, desperately wanting to believe he misunderstood. That this wasn't the rejection he hadn't seen coming.

"Yeah, my... What you call it? Like, best friend for life but cooler?" He snapped his finger, gaze wandering around a bit. "Oh! Platonic life partner! That's it."

"Life partner?" Ryland echoed, his fingertips suddenly numb. He swallowed hard, eyes searching Alex's for any sign that this was a joke. A sick, twisted joke that made him want to sob. But no, Alex just kept smiling at him, obviously _pleased_ with himself. He was going to be sick. "That sounds good to me," He forced out, mouth twitching in what he hoped was a smile.

"I know, right? The internet is a wonderful place for words. Did I show you what the word for fear of long words is? It's so _long_ and-"

"You know," Ryland said, pulling back a bit and patting Alex's shoulder. "I'm a bit tired. I think I'm gonna take a nap. That cool?" He held the sort of smile on his face, biting down hard on his cheek to keep his stomach from betraying him.

"Oh, of course." Alex gestured at Ryland's room. "I'll just be using the TV for a bit, k? I need me some Gilmore Girls after the night I just had." He knew the laugh that came after was forced, but Ryland couldn't bring himself to care. He made a half hearted gesture at the TV.

"It's all yours," He said, before quickly retreating. As the door shut behind him, Ryland felt his legs give out on him. He caught himself on the way down, knuckles digging into the carpet. He stared at his hands, his chest suddenly far too empty. He wanted to scream. He'd had it. He'd been so _fucking close_ to telling him. And for what? To find out Alex didn't even see him that way? He was so fucking pathetic.

The first tear that hit his hand he hardly noticed. He was too busy searching for something, _anything_ he could throw. His eyes landed on a small book. He lunged for it, sweeping it up and launching it his bed. He had meant to aim for the mattress. Muffle the sound a bit. Instead, the hard cover struck the metal frame and a loud clang rang out. Ryland whipped around, fully expecting to hear Alex's footsteps approaching. Seconds went by, Ryland teetering on his knees. Nothing.

He dropped back to the ground, this time not bothering to catch himself. He curled his knees close to his chest as the tears began to fall in earnest. _How could I be so stupid?_ He dug his fingers into the flesh of his leg, eyes closing as he attempted to stifle the need to sob. He let out a small hiccup and dug his fingers in tighter. Don't. _Don't._

Finally, he broke. The love he'd never had before spilling out in muffled sobs and a shaking chest. He squeezed his eyes closed tighter, shoving his hand in his mouth to force himself quiet. But he couldn't stop the pain in his chest, knowing he'd never get to be Alex's everything. Someone else would fill that role eventually when the storm picked up again. And Ryland would be left with the pieces, picking back up the wreckage of his life.

It was another half an hour before he finally began to calm. He could feel a headache budding behind his eyes and groaned, furiously wiping at his tear stained cheeks. He slowly let his legs go, wincing as he stretched them out. He glanced down, surprised to see small spots of blood. He'd have to hide that, for sure.

Ryland lay back, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling. Well, that was that he supposed. He let his heart go soft and Alex bashed it to pieces with a fucking hammer. Figures.

It was a stupid idea anyway. Telling Alex how he felt would have been worse. Alex probably would have laughed in his face. It was better this way. Now, he could get over him.

Ryland didn't stop to think if he _wanted_ to get over him. At the moment, it felt like his duty. Alex needed his 'platonic life partner,' not a love sick idiot.

Ryland forced himself to his feet, wincing again at the pangs in his legs. He would be the best fucking partner he could be to Alex. And if that meant letting go of his feelings, he would shove them so far back, they'd be stuck in fucking Narnia. He was not going to lose their friendship too.


	2. Break Me With Blue Skies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My knowledge of Tinder is limited. Thank you Zoozleplug on Tumblr for answering my questions. Also, this ran a bit long but hope you like it anyways

Alex always thought the couch was pretty small. He'd considered asking Ryland to get a new one, but then there would be the whole 'craigslist is a horrible place full of cheats and bedbugs' conversation they'd had when Alex had wanted an actual bed, and boy was he not geared up for _that_ again.

Besides, he quite liked how easily he could cuddle up to Ryland this way. He was super comfy, even if he rarely let Alex actually cuddle with him. Usually he just scooted away, eyes locked on whatever game he was playing at the time. It was kind of disappointing, really, considering he'd let him cuddle with him up until about six months ago. It was like a wall had gone up over night, and Ryland went from tolerating Alex octopusing him, to completely separating them.

He'd tried to ask him about it once. It was one of the only times Alex had seen such raw _fear_ cross over his face and he didn't dare ask again. Just took the subject change and moved on. He guessed maybe something happened to make him even less liking of touch. He hoped it wasn’t something serious. Or something he'd done without his own knowledge. He didn't like the idea that he could cause such a distress.

Regardless, he'd tried to be respectful enough for the first few months. Stayed on the far side of the tiny couch as best he could. But he'd noticed how Ryland had seemed even less taken by that action, like it hurt him somehow. So, Alex made himself a compromise. He let himself lean against Ryland at times, sometimes a leg, sometimes a shoulder. Nothing too bold, just small things. And that had become routine almost, for Alex just to lean on him as he spoke or watched him play. He was thankful he even had that. Though, as he leaned against Ryland again, shoulder to hip this time, he wondered what had put him on edge a year ago.

"Shit," He heard Ryland mutter, hands gripping the controller tighter. Alex glanced at the screen. Big red lettering declared 'Game Over.'

"C'mon, dude. You got this," Alex said. He'd already forgotten what Ryland was actually playing, but fuck it if he wasn't going to encourage him however he could. 

"Eh, maybe." Ryland shrugged, jolting him slightly. He glanced at him, eyebrow raised. "Why are you practically laying on me?"

Alex yawned, leaning further against him. "Cause it's 2am and I'm dead tired."

"Then go lay down in your room," Ryland snorted, eyes already back on the screen. He wiggled further away from Alex, making him slump further to the side. Alex whined, scooting closer.

"But you're so close to winning," Alex said, hoping it was true. His eyes fluttered shut. Damn, Ryland was really warm. If only he'd let him climb in his lap. That'd be nice. 

"Not by a long shot, dude." Ryland snorted and gestured at the TV. "Look at this shit."

Alex blinked blearily at the screen, pixilated blobs slowly becoming a couple sticking their tongues down each other's throat. The blobs were preferable. "You don't like seeing happy people?" He asked, yawning again.

"More like it reminds me a need a damn girlfriend," Ryland said. Alex glanced back at him in surprise.

"Really?" He asked, suddenly tryong to think of the last time Alex had seen Ryland date a girl. There was that one girl, that one with those really cool skirts. Mary? Martha? She told him she made all her skirts herself, so of course Alex had to buy one off her. It was still hung up in his closet, although he'd only wore it a few times.

But besides her, there wasn't anyone else he knew of. Although Ryland was usually quiet about his love life, so there could have been many others Alex had never met.

"Or a boyfriend," Ryland snorted, shrugging slightly. Alex blinked, opening his mouth a moment then closing it. Well, now that actually opened up a whole batch of people he'd been introduced to. 

"Okay," Alex said, nodding to himself. If that's what Ryland needed, Alex was glad to help. His friend had been looking pretty down these past few months, so maybe a date is what he needed. And if it cheered his buddy up, he was game. Alex sat up a bit, already feeling himself get excited. "Let's get you a romantic partner, then! I think I remember there's this app. Tin-something..." He fumbled around, searching his pockets for his phone.

"Wha- Alex, no. I was joking," Ryland glanced at Alex out the corner of his eye, a panicked look in his eye. Alex, however, didn't notice as he finally located his phone and immediately began search for dating apps.

"C'mon, Ryland, let me help," Alex said, flipping through several apps. "I know you've been pretty down in the dumps lately. This could be the pick up you need!"

"Alex-"

"Aha!" Alex held out his phone to Ryland. "Here it is. Tinder. It's a dating app that I heard a lot of people use when they-"

"Alex!" Ryland snapped, shoving the phone away. "I was joking. Let it go."

Alex frowned, cradling the phone close to his chest. "There's no need to be ashamed. Thousands, maybe millions of people need help dating. Just make an account-"

"I'm tired." Ryland tossed his controller on the coffee table, the loud clack making Alex wince. "I'll see you in the morning." He pushed himself to his feet, Alex landing with a thud on the couch cushions. He watched Ryland storm off, wincing again as the door slammed behind him.

Laying back, Alex stared up at the ceiling, tapping his fingers against his phone on his chest. He wasn't exactly encouraged by Ryland's behavior. He was obviously embarrassed about not being able to get a girlfriend or a boyfriend on his own, and that made things difficult for Alex to help. Whenever Ryland was dead set on ignoring something, he did it well. Far too well, honestly. Alex wished he'd actually let himself be happy for often. He rarely got to see him smile.

But he couldn't give up. As much as Ryland was going to ignore him, he had to persist for his own good. He didn't want him to wallow in unhappiness anymore. He was going to find his best friend a relationship.

A small pang went through his chest at the thought, but he was already too busy making Ryland's Tinder account to notice.

The next morning, Alex found himself practically passing out in his cereal bowl. He yawned, drawing himself up to his full height to stretch his arms above his head. He'd stayed up most of the night swiping through profiles, looking for someone even remotely good of Ryland. He'd been sure to list all he could think of in Ryland's profile and found himself with a ridiculous amount of prospects. It took him a good half hour to even figure out how the app functioned. Going through each person and meticulously feeling them out of compatibility took even longer. He'd barely managed to pry himself away as dawn broke, but he only was able to sleep for about two hours before his internal alarm went off.

As he finished stretching, he heard Ryland's door open. He checked the clock, blinking in surprise. Strange. Ryland usually slept well past the morning. What was he doing up?

He glanced over his shoulder to see Ryland shuffling towards the kitchen, hair gathered in a messy ponytail and loose T-shirt bunch up at his waist. He didn't give the counter where Alex sat a second glance, heading straight for the fridge. Alex smiled, watching him pull out some milk and sniff it. He was so cute in the mornings.

Ryland glanced at him, raising an eyebrow. "You need something?" He asked, setting the milk on the counter and grabbing a couple eggs.

"Nah," Alex said, popping some cereal in his mouth. Ryland side eyed him as he took a bowl from the cupboard but didn't comment further.

As he ate, Alex checked his phone multiple times. He didn't know _exactly_ how this Tinder thing worked, but he had figured out there was a 'match' feature and that it would probably notifying him when that happened. He fully expected all twenty people he'd selected would match with Ryland, so he was a bit disappointed when there seemed to be no response yet.

"Is Kamal texting you memes again?" Ryland asked, setting his finished scrambled eggs on the counter across from Alex.

"No," Alex mumbled, flicking through to the inbox. 'No New Messages' glared back at him and he frowned.

"Hey, you okay?" Alex glanced up to see Ryland gesturing at him with his fork, eyebrow raised. "You look tired, man. You sleep alright?"

"Ry, I'm fine," Alex said, yawning in the middle of his sentence. Ryland only looked more concerned, so Alex said the first thing he could think of. "I had a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep. I'll just take a nap later, no worries." Alex shrugged, giving Ryland a reassuring smile. He hated lying, especially to Ryland, but it was necessary to keep him from freaking out before Alex even netted him his first match.

"Oh," Ryland paused a moment, before nodding. "Okay. Sorry bout that." He took a bite of his eggs, still eyeing Alex carefully.

Alex made a noncommittal noise, nose already buried in his phone again. Why hadn't anybody matched yet? Did he have his settings wrong? He opened Tinder and searched through the settings, groaning in frustration when he saw everything was correct. 

He tossed his phone down on the counter, glaring at it with distain. Ryland ate another bite of eggs, regarding him for a moment with a slight smile on his face.

"Do you want me to throw it out the window for you?" Ryland asked, poking Alex's phone with his fork.

Alex sighed. "No," He batted it closer to himself, spinning it a few times before standing and sticking it in his pocket. "I'm gonna go out for a bit."

Ryland shrugged, making a 'go ahead' gesture. Alex scooped up his bowl and tossed it in the sink. He slipped on his shoes, not bothering with socks or a jacket as he slipped out the door.

He spent most of the day weaving in and out of coffee shops and random stores. He kept checking opening and closing Tinder, to the point where his phone's battery took quite the nose dive. He kept going, however, sure he'd see a notification pop up soon.

And yet by lunch, Alex was feeling pretty hopeless. It had been six hours since he'd chosen Ryland's matches and not one person had matched back. He had been sure they would. Ryland's picture had been the sure clincher, a top down black and white picture of him laying on his bed, actually smiling. True, he'd been smiling because Alex had whacked his head on the ceiling trying to take a picture of him, but it was a good photo regardless. Honestly, Alex would have had it framed if he could, but there was the fact of Ryland not knowing he'd kept the photo and he really didn't want to address that any time soon.

Slumping down in his corner booth seat, Alex toyed with his phone as he stared out the window. If he couldn't do this for Ryland, what kind of life partner was he? He _deserved_ to be happy, and if Alex couldn't even manage to get him one date, Ryland might continue ignoring his need for companionship.

Alex frowned, eyes catching on two people across the street. They were holding hands and laughing, doubled over as their shoulders shook. Alex remembered laughing that hard with Ryland, a stupid joke Alex had made that dissolved into a ridiculous giggle fest. It was one of the few times Alex had heard Ryland full on giggle. It was such a sweet sound. He wished he could hear it again.

As the couple finally managed to compose themselves, they just smiled at each other for a few moments. One of them tucked a strand of hair behind the others ear. And then they kissed, a soft press of lips, and Alex looked away.

There were a lot of things Alex could give Ryland. Laughter over stupid things. Kindness when he hurt Alex's feelings. Breakfast on the mornings he was extra grumpy and they hadnt gone shopping so Alex was forced to use his imagination.

But Alex couldn't give him what that couple had. That romantic, fluttery, closeness. It wasn't his place to give, after all. He didn't like Ryland that way. He didn't dream about kissing Ryland or stroking his face or undressing him slowly on cold winter nights. He didn't do romantic relationships like that. Goodness whenever he did, he was bound to ruin it somehow.

A loud ping startled him out of his thoughts. He glanced down at his phone, blinking a few times to make sure he was seeing things right. Expecting it to just up and disappear, Alex moved his thumb slowly over the notification. He pressed down, Tinder suddenly booting back up. Ryland had finally matched with someone. Holy shit.

The guy was one of Alex's top choices, too; A game designer with full head of dark brown hair, a square jaw, and a winning smile. The guy had many simular intetests to Ryland and seemed to be an upbeat guy-something Ryland needed, by Alex's experience.

While Alex was staring in shock at the phone screen, another notification popped up. A little message icon. Alex quickly moved to his inbox, where the guy, Carlton, had sent a quick greeting. Alex shook himself out of his stuper and took a deep breath. Okay, he could do this. All he had to do was sound like Ryland. Easy, right?

 _Hey, there._ He paused, fingers hovering over the keys. Should he add an emoji? If it was him, he would, but Ryland... Okay, no emoji. Just click send.

Seconds went by and another message appeared. _So I hear you're into video games?_

Alex swallowed, starting to panic. If Carlton asked Ryland's favourite video game or most hated, Alex could answer no problem. But what if he wanted to know _why_ he liked it? What if he wanted to know his favourite parts? His dissection of the structure of the game itself?

Another message came right after. _I've got an awesome arcade I go to on the weekends. I'd love to take you sometime, if that's not too forward._

Alex slumped back in the booth, relaxing. That was much better than answering questions. He tried to think like Ryland-well, a Ryland that would say yes to a date that quickly. After a few minutes, he typed out a reply.

_That sounds great! I'm free this weekend. Noon Saturday alright?_

Another quick reply. _Awesome. We can meet at the Starbucks on 5th. I'll bring my game face. ___

Alex smiled, setting his phone down on the table. He'd done it. He'd actually done it. Ryland had a date all set up for this weekend and Carlton seemed like the perfect match. And even if he wasn't, no doubt someone else would match with him later. It was a win-win.

Ryland was going to be so happy.


End file.
